By Jill Stefani Wagner
I have a confession to make.
For a good part of my life, I was often terrified of new challenges and the possibility of failure. Whether in my advertising career or my new art life, I constantly struggled with the urge to turn down opportunities that were out of my comfort zone.
When I considered attempting something new and scary, the process in my brain would automatically go something like this:
“Absolutely not.”
“No way.”
“Not gonna happen.”
“It’s beyond my skill set.”
“That would be extremely difficult.”
“Maybe in the future…”
“Well, others have managed to do it.”
“What’s the worst that could happen?”
“Maybe I could handle it…”
“No reason not to try.”
“I think I’ll go for it.”
“Ok, I’ve got this.”
I went through every one of those steps when I was asked to be a creative director and then vice president of an advertising agency. When it was time to for me to leave that company, I thought there was no way I could start my own successful firm. Wrong. And 25 years later, when I pined to sell my ad agency and become a full-time artist, I tortured myself for months and months before I got the nerve to follow through.
Jill Stefani Wagner, Floral Landscape, pastel, 12 x 9 in.
And as a newbie artist there was a long list of “I can’t do that’s” :
Taking a workshop with a superstar instructor
Approaching galleries to represent my art
Demonstrating a painting in front of a crowd of people
Applying to national competitions
Painting at plein air festivals
Mounting a solo exhibit
Teaching my own workshops
Moving from pastel into oil painting
Becoming Faculty at the Plein Air Convention
Appearing with Eric Rhoads live
And so on…
Somehow, I handled all of those new challenges…and sometimes failed. Over time I have realized that doing what scares me most is the best, and probably ONLY way for me to improve. Intimidating risks helped me extend my boundaries a bit farther and add new skills and techniques that enhanced my artwork. And I learned to accept the convoluted process I personally need to go through to finally say “YES!” to new opportunities.
Almost every time I took a chance at doing something that seemed outside of my capabilities, good things happened. (Well, there was that one time that I held my very first workshop, painting outside, with a full case of shingles encroaching on my eye. But I digress… ) Mostly doing those scary things has been exciting and invigorating!
But… that’s not to imply that pushing my limits is easy. I still get nervous with each new adventure. Case in point: When Streamline Publications asked me to come to Texas to film three art instruction videos, I almost declined. Although I had directed shoots for corporate marketing clients over the years, it was quite a different experience to consider being the one “on camera.” But I love to teach and knew I had helpful information to share with pastel students, AND making a video was the next logical step in my art career.
I went for it —and the whole experience was amazing. A supportive pre-production team, fantastic directors and cameramen, and superstar marketers helped create an environment that encouraged success. And after some of the fear dissipated, I actually enjoyed it!
This year, an artist friend and I were offered the chance to lead a painting workshop in Tuscany, my favorite place in the whole world.
Jill Stefani Wagner, Landscape in oil
But just thinking of putting together this type of complicated trip overwhelmed me. It would be difficult to market the class, arrange the itinerary, answer first-time traveler’s questions, etc. I had been to Italy 12 times before, but not with a group of 18 people that I was responsible for. What if the travelers didn’t like the locations or someone got sick? What if our luggage with art supplies was lost? My biggest fear was disappointing anyone.
As you can see, I had many reasons to refuse the workshop offer. But I didn’t… and it turned out wonderfully. There were a few hiccups along the way, but nothing that couldn’t be dealt with. Everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. And I liked it so much that I’m considering another Italy workshop in 2025.
I don’t think I’m the only artist who CREATES barriers for opportunities that scare me. Why do we do that? Are we afraid to waste time, look weak or damage our “stellar” reputations? Or maybe we have low self esteem when it comes to considering what we are capable of achieving? Or maybe ALL of the above?
Everyone likes to succeed but is failure such a bad thing? I don’t mind saying that I’ve had many, many failures in my business, family and art lives. But I learned something important from each and every one of those disappointments… and they made me stronger and smarter. They also taught me what NOT to do in the future. But more often than not, taking a chance on a new opportunity opened up a new world with even better opportunities!
New challenges aren’t quite as frightening as you might envision. But you’ll never know until you try. So go ahead, step out of your comfort zone and take a chance. Get out there and do what scares you most!
Pastel Live is September 18 – 20, 2024. More information is available here.
Jill’s TWO pastel painting videos are now available individually or as a set. You can find out more, or purchase them as streaming video or a DVD here.
